A Reason To Get Up Early
This morning I awakened before 5:00am to that old familiar feeling... a twinge of pain in my side that slowly becomes the enormous, inescapable pain of yet another kidney stone. This was number 15, I think. After an hour and a half of pacing, kneeling and fighting the pain, I think it is gone. But...
The passage of stones always leaves me weak but also very sensitive to things around me. Maybe it's the intense pain, I don't know. As I walked outside at dawn, the morning was soft, warm and the air was still. A few clouds, a few stars. Birds singing like crazy, especially doves, cardinals and jays. The people sounds even seemed friendly, somehow. Cars on the freeway almost a mile away, traffic on the next street, the person delivering papers, someone is jogging. Then it dawned on me:
"Be still and know that I am God." calls for a state of spirit, not a circumstance of decibels. When I am used up, He makes Himself known. When I have nothing left, He has plenty. When I have become "i" small case at the end of my rope, I finally lose my grip and fall six inches into his hands. The reward for the draining, exhausting pain is a keener sense of God and his presence; a reason to get up early.
I'm not so clueless that I think this is a pat answer to suffering, but I have been made aware this morning that suffering can produce great reward from God.
The passage of stones always leaves me weak but also very sensitive to things around me. Maybe it's the intense pain, I don't know. As I walked outside at dawn, the morning was soft, warm and the air was still. A few clouds, a few stars. Birds singing like crazy, especially doves, cardinals and jays. The people sounds even seemed friendly, somehow. Cars on the freeway almost a mile away, traffic on the next street, the person delivering papers, someone is jogging. Then it dawned on me:
"Be still and know that I am God." calls for a state of spirit, not a circumstance of decibels. When I am used up, He makes Himself known. When I have nothing left, He has plenty. When I have become "i" small case at the end of my rope, I finally lose my grip and fall six inches into his hands. The reward for the draining, exhausting pain is a keener sense of God and his presence; a reason to get up early.
I'm not so clueless that I think this is a pat answer to suffering, but I have been made aware this morning that suffering can produce great reward from God.
Labels: suffering
1 Comments:
At 8:34 AM, Kathy said…
Oookay! Now I've found you again after misplacing your blog in my latest PC move, will you reciprocate by blogging? :)
Pesty Kathy
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